Awoke

Hi, Dora and everyone.
This is Hamako.

Listen!
I awoke from a good rest.
The "rest" means that I've been really enjoyed my new life.
I got a new family.
We have had two boys. And this time was a girl.
She is a very very cute!
And you know each time you got a dear love,
you will become more and more mature.
I've had a variety of experiences.

So, I was not interested in English than I used to be.
Of course I'm not tired of English.
I've enjoyed with it whenever I touched it.
It's just because of changing my environment.

But recently, there are changing within me again.
I realized that last Sunday.
At first, I was aware of a faint feeling of something
when I was starting to read a book,
which called "脳を活かす勉強法" by 茂木健一郎,
in the bathtub.

I got a sparkle in my head.
And I thought, "I know this sense!"

I read the book little by little when I got some spare time to read it.
My first impression was getting stronger.

"I'd got these sense every day since I started the extensive listening and reading!
I forgot it because I've been very busy with happy life
after I got my daughter.
Of course raising kids are a fantastic and artistic work.
But therefore I forgot these sparkles!"

This is the most important my method.
Always there were linking that raising my kids and studying my English.
Now I feel I have more matured because I added another jewel (my kid).
So I guess my English become more mature, too.

May be you know when you were in a creative mode.
You can see, not only feel something but you actually see well
various things with your mental eyes.
Also you surely understood you can receive whatever you want,
it would have been drifting or floating around you and
when you called it, it comes for you.

If you had a question, you got the answer while you've done
an another thing or you read a book or KEIJIBAN,
it'd told about a different topic which you had hold the question.
But you suddenly realized and got the answer or more.

In your head, there were sparkles here and there.
You just let these sparkles go on and you could get many new
information that lead you to your next stage.
And you got these opportunity a dozen times,
it seems to extraordinary times.
You can discover the new things to you every day.

It is a very very very thrilling and exciting!
And you'd felt if you had been in a dark room and suddenly
you came out to under the bright sun with clear sky.

There were waving after flooding of ideas and power and
it comes from deep inside you.
And you'd felt if you could soar up into the sky
and you could go to the end of the world and there would be no end.

Also you certainly felt the linking with everyone and everything.
It's a quite comfortable feeling.

These all things are for me now again.

I think I've got a good rest since I had a baby in my body.
I could take a shower of a great love through myself.
That are my husband, my kids , my family, my friends,
and may be unaware people,
and of course it came from nature, too.

And sure, definitely, you, Dora. (and you!)
Dora, there is no doubt. It's you.
You are one of a person who called me.
And I called a person and it was you.
Thank you, thank you Dora!

Now, the time comes.
I move to the next stage.
I can progress more and more.


〉Could you give me some of your recommendation for learning
〉Mother Goose's rhyme, songs and stories when you have enough
〉time ?

OK. It's my pleasure.
Please wait for a while.
I've been very busy...

Bye, now.

Hi, Hamako.

Now I feel I'm totally covered with both gratefulness and
content deeply for getting known each other.

With no doubt, this article is your love, I definitely think.
Your love for the whole world, that's what we have been
talking about.

It's just only whole a month since we started chatting
first time, isn't it ?
But it's also long enough a month, with full of fun, joy,
relief, sparkles and excitements.

And now, you've got willing to challenge the next stage of
your life. I'm very pleased to hear that !!!

Hamako-san, Daisuki, Gyuuuuu....

By the way I've been aware of some of your changing from inside
yourself at the moment I saw you came back to this chatting board,
because I had heard you were going to try to get new job that
you can somehow use your English ability, this year.

I assumed that your re-appearance on this board had to be a
fraction of that the excitements from your challengership is now
unconstrainably blowing inside yourself.

I'm not sure if I would have good picture.

But I've grasped this picture right at that instant, then I decided
that we would be able to chat anything like as we've talked in
Japanese, even though it might be so much complicated things
as same as we usually talk. At least I should do.

〉Listen!
〉I awoke from a good rest.
〉The "rest" means that I've been really enjoyed my new life.
〉I got a new family.
〉We have had two boys. And this time was a girl.
〉She is a very very cute!
〉And you know each time you got a dear love,
〉you will become more and more mature.
〉I've had a variety of experiences.

〉So, I was not interested in English than I used to be.
〉Of course I'm not tired of English.
〉I've enjoyed with it whenever I touched it.
〉It's just because of changing my environment.

YEAH !!!!

I've always believed in both of the higher-power inside every
human beings and the self-healing-power for oneselves,
especially for you !!

〉But recently, there are changing within me again.
〉I realized that last Sunday.
〉At first, I was aware of a faint feeling of something
〉when I was starting to read a book,
〉which called "脳を活かす勉強法" by 茂木健一郎,
〉in the bathtub.

〉I got a sparkle in my head.
〉And I thought, "I know this sense!"

〉I read the book little by little when I got some spare time to read it.
〉My first impression was getting stronger.

〉"I'd got these sense every day since I started the extensive listening and reading!
〉I forgot it because I've been very busy with happy life
〉after I got my daughter.
〉Of course raising kids are a fantastic and artistic work.
〉But therefore I forgot these sparkles!"

〉This is the most important my method.
〉Always there were linking that raising my kids and studying my English.
〉Now I feel I have more matured because I added another jewel (my kid).
〉So I guess my English become more mature, too.

I think human being is not quite simple.
Everyone must have various side of aspects.

If you would have memorized the joy of the creation for
something into your brain, you could not satisfy without
it whole of the rest of your life.

〉May be you know when you were in a creative mode.
〉You can see, not only feel something but you actually see well
〉various things with your mental eyes.
〉Also you surely understood you can receive whatever you want,
〉it would have been drifting or floating around you and
〉when you called it, it comes for you.

Uh-huh.

〉If you had a question, you got the answer while you've done
〉an another thing or you read a book or KEIJIBAN,
〉it'd told about a different topic which you had hold the question.
〉But you suddenly realized and got the answer or more.

Exactly !

I think the most important thing is that you keep hanging these
questions on around your mind and leave the questions as it is.
But it's seemed to me that most of the people can barely endure
the situations of that any questions have been left in their mind.
Such kind of people seems to try to get rid of these kind of
unsolved questions from their mind, instead of leaving them.

〉In your head, there were sparkles here and there.
〉You just let these sparkles go on and you could get many new
〉information that lead you to your next stage.
〉And you got these opportunity a dozen times,
〉it seems to extraordinary times.
〉You can discover the new things to you every day.

It must be incredibly amazing experience but unfortunately, major
portion of the people seemes to abandon relishing any part of it.

〉It is a very very very thrilling and exciting!
〉And you'd felt if you had been in a dark room and suddenly
〉you came out to under the bright sun with clear sky.

Yeah !
In my words, like coming out from an enormous, huge tunnel.

# This difference of expression between you and me
# might clearly indicate the difference of temper or
# character or something, maybe.... I don't know.

〉There were waving after flooding of ideas and power and
〉it comes from deep inside you.
〉And you'd felt if you could soar up into the sky
〉and you could go to the end of the world and there would be no end.

I can understand what you say !

Exactly, there is no end, no end of the world,no end of learning,
no end of joy and no end of sorrow...

〉Also you certainly felt the linking with everyone and everything.
〉It's a quite comfortable feeling.

YEAH !!
Here comes your life-span-theme, the link. The link all around
between you and everyone and everything.

Perhaps you don't know, I've always believed there are so much
links all around myself.
But talking frankly, some of them seemed to be unpreferable
for me to keep it connected.

And life's bitterness, the link that I eagerly wanted to treat
like a treasure, would barely last long enough.

〉These all things are for me now again.

I'm truly grad as it happens for myself !!

〉I think I've got a good rest since I had a baby in my body.
〉I could take a shower of a great love through myself.
〉That are my husband, my kids , my family, my friends,
〉and may be unaware people,
〉and of course it came from nature, too.

Uh-huh.

〉And sure, definitely, you, Dora. (and you!)
〉Dora, there is no doubt. It's you.
〉You are one of a person who called me.
〉And I called a person and it was you.
〉Thank you, thank you Dora!

Thank you so much !!!
I can't express my feeling with any of my words !!!!

Exacly, you have been calling someone and I've found it out
accidentally. I wonder if there were some kind of fate.
And I'm truly pleased that now I know I could have responded
your calling !!

You know, at first, there was a doubt in my mind whether I
would be able to keep contact with you in the way like that
we were continuously talking just frankly.
But I had relieved by knowing the fact that this was also
necessary thing for you.

And now I'm in full of content. And I feel like I'm being
cuddled by your enormous love.

〉Now, the time comes.
〉I move to the next stage.
〉I can progress more and more.

Okay.
From now on, I would be pleased if I could keep in touch with you
as same as up to now, if you can.

〉〉Could you give me some of your recommendation for learning
〉〉Mother Goose's rhyme, songs and stories when you have enough
〉〉time ?

〉OK. It's my pleasure.
〉Please wait for a while.
〉I've been very busy...

I truly thank you for writing this important article although
you are very busy.

My request is not in a hurry.
I would pleasingly wait whenever you would be available...

See you.

P.S.

Saying honestly, I've read yesterday's version of your article.
Actually, yesterday morning I've saved your yesterday's text in
my PC in order to reply you as soon as possible.

Now I have no intent to offend you but I think yesterday's might
be better.

It's more belief and it seems to be able to be felt full of your
joy and your affection more directly.

Was it just something like right after finished writing, and/or
written at a dash from starting to ending ?

It is often said in musical world that the first thing is right
thing, full of intuition or emotion or somethings.
So if anyone would like to make some minor modification into
a first thing, one must deeply consider because it usually
includes difficult problems.

Perhaps, I might not have to say this kind of thing although I
would have realized the reason why you inserted supplemental
explanation was for me, especially.

It might also be unnecessary suggestion, maybe.
Just for your information.

Thanks.

Good morning, Dora.

〉Now I feel I'm totally covered with both gratefulness and
〉content deeply for getting known each other.

You are so brilliant!
I thought that nobody understand this subject surely.
Because it will be almost an abstract ideas.
And my English ability is far away from a clear explanation.
But, you, Dora.
I know you know!

〉With no doubt, this article is your love, I definitely think.
〉Your love for the whole world, that's what we have been
〉talking about.

Yes, sir.

〉It's just only whole a month since we started chatting
〉first time, isn't it ?
〉But it's also long enough a month, with full of fun, joy,
〉relief, sparkles and excitements.

Really? Was it a just a month!?
Wow, that's an amazing!

〉And now, you've got willing to challenge the next stage of
〉your life. I'm very pleased to hear that !!!

Thank you, thanks a million!

〉Hamako-san, Daisuki, Gyuuuuu....

Ufufu. Gyuuuuuu.

〉By the way I've been aware of some of your changing from inside
〉yourself at the moment I saw you came back to this chatting board,
〉because I had heard you were going to try to get new job that
〉you can somehow use your English ability, this year.

Yes.

〉I assumed that your re-appearance on this board had to be a
〉fraction of that the excitements from your challengership is now
〉unconstrainably blowing inside yourself.

Yeah.

〉I'm not sure if I would have good picture.

Well.

〉But I've grasped this picture right at that instant, then I decided
〉that we would be able to chat anything like as we've talked in
〉Japanese, even though it might be so much complicated things
〉as same as we usually talk. At least I should do.

I remember that I left many things that you told me and
I wanted to reply in both Japanese and English.
But I guess that we will talk the same things as we would like do it
in every time, right?

〉I've always believed in both of the higher-power inside every
〉human beings and the self-healing-power for oneselves,
〉especially for you !!

Thank you.

〉I think human being is not quite simple.
〉Everyone must have various side of aspects.
〉If you would have memorized the joy of the creation for
〉something into your brain, you could not satisfy without
〉it whole of the rest of your life.

Yeah, Yeees.

〉〉If you had a question, you got the answer while you've done
〉〉an another thing or you read a book or KEIJIBAN,
〉〉it'd told about a different topic which you had hold the question.
〉〉But you suddenly realized and got the answer or more.

〉Exactly !
〉I think the most important thing is that you keep hanging these
〉questions on around your mind and leave the questions as it is.
〉But it's seemed to me that most of the people can barely endure
〉the situations of that any questions have been left in their mind.
〉Such kind of people seems to try to get rid of these kind of
〉unsolved questions from their mind, instead of leaving them.

Oh, Mottainai!

〉〉In your head, there were sparkles here and there.
〉〉You just let these sparkles go on and you could get many new
〉〉information that lead you to your next stage.
〉〉And you got these opportunity a dozen times,
〉〉it seems to extraordinary times.
〉〉You can discover the new things to you every day.

〉It must be incredibly amazing experience but unfortunately, major
〉portion of the people seemes to abandon relishing any part of it.

Abandon? Mottainai, again.

〉〉It is a very very very thrilling and exciting!
〉〉And you'd felt if you had been in a dark room and suddenly
〉〉you came out to under the bright sun with clear sky.

〉Yeah !
〉In my words, like coming out from an enormous, huge tunnel.
〉# This difference of expression between you and me
〉# might clearly indicate the difference of temper or
〉# character or something, maybe.... I don't know.

I got it.

〉〉There were waving after flooding of ideas and power and
〉〉it comes from deep inside you.
〉〉And you'd felt if you could soar up into the sky
〉〉and you could go to the end of the world and there would be no end.

〉I can understand what you say !

You do!? What a joy!

〉Exactly, there is no end, no end of the world,no end of learning,
〉no end of joy and no end of sorrow...

Well, well, that's the way of life.
And it leads to a wonderful life.

〉〉Also you certainly felt the linking with everyone and everything.
〉〉It's a quite comfortable feeling.

〉YEAH !!
〉Here comes your life-span-theme, the link. The link all around
〉between you and everyone and everything.

Yes, and it includes you, Dora. You knew it.

〉Perhaps you don't know, I've always believed there are so much
〉links all around myself.
〉But talking frankly, some of them seemed to be unpreferable
〉for me to keep it connected.

Then, throw it away.
These people or things might have a link but I'm sure that in
a different way as you think.
To tell the truth, I've thought you hold so many things
and it will more than your imagine.
You are a wise, gentle man.
Your life is yours, Dora.
Do you really know it?
I wish you love yourself more and enjoy your life.
I remember you said "I don't know about 'love', maybe...",
but now, too?
I guess I've said too much. You told me of your situation.
I'm sorry if you got a bad feeling.
I just wanted to ease your pain.

〉And life's bitterness, the link that I eagerly wanted to treat
〉like a treasure, would barely last long enough.

Gee.

〉〉These all things are for me now again.

〉I'm truly grad as it happens for myself !!

Thank you, thank you, Dora.

〉〉And sure, definitely, you, Dora. (and you!)
〉〉Dora, there is no doubt. It's you.
〉〉You are one of a person who called me.
〉〉And I called a person and it was you.
〉〉Thank you, thank you Dora!

〉Thank you so much !!!
〉I can't express my feeling with any of my words !!!!

Then, Gyuuuu again and again.

〉Exacly, you have been calling someone and I've found it out
〉accidentally. I wonder if there were some kind of fate.
〉And I'm truly pleased that now I know I could have responded
〉your calling !!

We are fatal person, aren't we?

〉You know, at first, there was a doubt in my mind whether I
〉would be able to keep contact with you in the way like that
〉we were continuously talking just frankly.
〉But I had relieved by knowing the fact that this was also
〉necessary thing for you.

Yes, yes, Dora.

〉And now I'm in full of content. And I feel like I'm being
〉cuddled by your enormous love.

You are my kid!
Here is your place and your blanket, come in.

〉〉Now, the time comes.
〉〉I move to the next stage.
〉〉I can progress more and more.

〉Okay.
〉From now on, I would be pleased if I could keep in touch with you
〉as same as up to now, if you can.

Thank you.

〉P.S.
〉Saying honestly, I've read yesterday's version of your article.
〉Actually, yesterday morning I've saved your yesterday's text in
〉my PC in order to reply you as soon as possible.
〉Now I have no intent to offend you but I think yesterday's might
〉be better.

Oh, really?

〉It's more belief and it seems to be able to be felt full of your
〉joy and your affection more directly.
〉Was it just something like right after finished writing, and/or
〉written at a dash from starting to ending ?

I did "Daaaaaa" writing as usual and posted it.
And it was what I wanted to say, without a plan.
But I remembered that emmie's comment.
Something like it's a little difficult to understand what I say.
So I thought it would be a good thing to add more explanations than "Daaaaaa" writing.

〉It is often said in musical world that the first thing is right
〉thing, full of intuition or emotion or somethings.
〉So if anyone would like to make some minor modification into
〉a first thing, one must deeply consider because it usually
〉includes difficult problems.

Wow, that's a good word.
I will remember it.

〉Perhaps, I might not have to say this kind of thing although I
〉would have realized the reason why you inserted supplemental
〉explanation was for me, especially.
〉It might also be unnecessary suggestion, maybe.
〉Just for your information.

Oo-oh, thank you, Dora.
You always give me a good advice!

See, you.

Good morning, Hamako !

Actually, I have been not good in my health recently.
But I also have been eager to write to you.

Once I recovered enough to write and then began to write,
I made so much long article as a result. Mmmm...

Perhaps, this article might be one of my rehabilitation.

# Of course, I'm kidding here.
# My health is not a such problem.
# Please don't worry.

Please don't mind if you can't respond me so fast.

〉〉Now I feel I'm totally covered with both gratefulness and
〉〉content deeply for getting known each other.

〉You are so brilliant!
〉I thought that nobody understand this subject surely.
〉Because it will be almost an abstract ideas.
〉And my English ability is far away from a clear explanation.
〉But, you, Dora.
〉I know you know!

I've read your latest articles in Japanese both on the Yayako-Shiki
board and the SSS boards.
I was so pleased that now you're full of confident and seem to be
not mind whether your gifts are understandable for readers or not.

Furthermore, how incredible your involving and encouraging ways
for your familiar members are !!!

In my assumption, you're originally a positive woman.
Once after you've awoken, not only you're so powerful but also
you can make your companies so much affectionate and happy.

Hamako-san, Daisuki !! Gyuuuu....

By the way, if you are not mind, I would like to make some advice
for you about the topics which you mentioned in your recent articles.

1) Purchasing new PC
You would like to have new laptop, not the desktop PC, right ?

I think if you can afford about 60,000 yen or 70,000 yen of
your expense, it would be worth enough to possess it.
Your fun from the Internet would be extended greatly if you
could buy new one.

If you hope less expense for purchasing new PC, DELL might be the
best vendor.
But DELL's campaign or coupon stuff might be available almost
every time of the year.
So you don't need to make your decision in haste.
If you will find there is no campaigns nor coupons when you want
to make a order to DELL, simply you should wait few weeks. Then
you will be able to see some kind of discount again.

I have never recommended any of the used PCs for the usual users.
There are several reasons.

First of all, neither the using way of the previous user nor
the using environment under the previous user is unknown.
Some user's behavior for PCs has possibility which might cause
severe damage for the internal circuit of PC. However, you cannot
know whether a PC has such kind of invisible damage or not.

Second there are the issues of the applicability for software.
Recently, the technologies for PC have gradually become matured
but it's still progressing day by day, even more year by year.

Comparing the circumstances from several years ago to today,
there seems to be less such kind of issues today in the PC world,
but still there must be some kind of issues which is related to
some points of applicability, like as following :

　　The applicability for
　　　　the different versions of Windows
　　　　the device driver for the latest version of Windows
　　　　the application software which need specific version
　　　　　　of Windows or specific device drivers.
　　　　the application which requires very expensive
　　　　　　hardware resources or comsumption of CPU performance

Third the guaranteeing conditions for any injury or broken down are
usually limited for the used PCs, at any side of aspects.
Today, some scrupulous PC shops can offer their own original
guaranteeing programs for their customers, even though it's
an used product, but it's often not free.

Sometimes there is new PCs but it's treated like as used one,
it's so-called "新古品", especially in some local stores of
the wide-spreaded-electric-chain.
Also you'd better to buy them if they are less than 45,000 yen
and their model is newer than 2 years ago, and the most important
exception is that this product has not been used to exhibit at
the shop.

Of course, it's in case that you think the cheaper is the most
important.
But I always think the newer is the most important for buying PCs,
whether it's for myself or for my companies.

In your mention of your usage for PC, I think all of the laptops
would be capable to you, only if it has speakers (and mic connector
hopefully).
But all of today's windows-laptop normally has both.

Therefore, you can buy the cheapest one. Simply, the cheapest is
the best for you anyway.
Of course, this criterion can always apply to the major portion of
the PC users, I think.

2) Looking for English related work
First of all, you don't have to worry about your English ability,
I can say.
Just remember, "You are endowed with high potential in English."
Needless to say again, it's about your gifts.

On the other hand, I recommend that
"At first, you should accept only what you think you will be able
to handle, as your work, especially if you can have a choice."

Of course, I don't know about your working experiences formerly.
But it's true in most of the cases, starting new job brings you
some of the changing in your life. It may cause some pain for you,
until you would get used to your working.

And I wish you will have a good luck !

Every time I write you some advice, I can't stop myself wondering
"It might be no need, or useless thing..."

But I have wanted to tell you anyway and I'm so sorry to write too
long. I couldn't stop myself once I began to write.

Now I feel so much cleared in my mind...

〉〉With no doubt, this article is your love, I definitely think.
〉〉Your love for the whole world, that's what we have been
〉〉talking about.

〉Yes, sir.

How I have been delighted from my first sight of your previous article !!
And still now...

〉〉It's just only whole a month since we started chatting
〉〉first time, isn't it ?
〉〉But it's also long enough a month, with full of fun, joy,
〉〉relief, sparkles and excitements.

〉Really? Was it a just a month!?
〉Wow, that's an amazing!

Yeah ! Me too.

〉I remember that I left many things that you told me and
〉I wanted to reply in both Japanese and English.
〉But I guess that we will talk the same things as we would like do it
〉in every time, right?

I think so, at any time, according to your availability.
I would happily wait until you can have enough time.

〉〉I think human being is not quite simple.
〉〉Everyone must have various side of aspects.
〉〉If you would have memorized the joy of the creation for
〉〉something into your brain, you could not satisfy without
〉〉it whole of the rest of your life.

〉Yeah, Yeees.

After that, I've been interested in "脳を生かす勉強法", so I bought it
and read half of it.
In my surprise, there noted exact same thing in this book.
Furthermore, it notes the others of my ideas for learning something,
in refined way. It's amazing !!

〉〉〉If you had a question, you got the answer while you've done
〉〉〉an another thing or you read a book or KEIJIBAN,
〉〉〉it'd told about a different topic which you had hold the question.
〉〉〉But you suddenly realized and got the answer or more.

〉〉Exactly !
〉〉I think the most important thing is that you keep hanging these
〉〉questions on around your mind and leave the questions as it is.
〉〉But it's seemed to me that most of the people can barely endure
〉〉the situations of that any questions have been left in their mind.
〉〉Such kind of people seems to try to get rid of these kind of
〉〉unsolved questions from their mind, instead of leaving them.

〉Oh, Mottainai!

YEAH !!! You're right !!
It's so Mottainai !!!

But the fact is, they are.

〉〉〉In your head, there were sparkles here and there.
〉〉〉You just let these sparkles go on and you could get many new
〉〉〉information that lead you to your next stage.
〉〉〉And you got these opportunity a dozen times,
〉〉〉it seems to extraordinary times.
〉〉〉You can discover the new things to you every day.

〉〉It must be incredibly amazing experience but unfortunately, major
〉〉portion of the people seemes to abandon relishing any part of it.

〉Abandon? Mottainai, again.

In this part, I wrote same thing as previous paragraph but using
different expression, simply.

However, it's so Mottainai, I think too...

〉〉〉There were waving after flooding of ideas and power and
〉〉〉it comes from deep inside you.
〉〉〉And you'd felt if you could soar up into the sky
〉〉〉and you could go to the end of the world and there would be no end.

〉〉I can understand what you say !

〉You do!? What a joy!

Thank you!

〉〉Exactly, there is no end, no end of the world,no end of learning,
〉〉no end of joy and no end of sorrow...

〉Well, well, that's the way of life.
〉And it leads to a wonderful life.

Yup!
I assure that this "no end" stuff indicates the fruitfulness of the
human life.

〉〉〉Also you certainly felt the linking with everyone and everything.
〉〉〉It's a quite comfortable feeling.

〉〉YEAH !!
〉〉Here comes your life-span-theme, the link. The link all around
〉〉between you and everyone and everything.

〉Yes, and it includes you, Dora. You knew it.

Thanks, Hamako...(Red faced...)

〉〉Perhaps you don't know, I've always believed there are so much
〉〉links all around myself.
〉〉But talking frankly, some of them seemed to be unpreferable
〉〉for me to keep it connected.

〉Then, throw it away.
〉These people or things might have a link but I'm sure that in
〉a different way as you think.
〉To tell the truth, I've thought you hold so many things
〉and it will more than your imagine.

From my youth, several person occassionaly appeared and they kindly
told me exact same thing to me. But I couldn't grasp what the picture
this words is suggesting, even now, even in my head.
The only thing I could do about these words was just to imagine.

Sure. I can recognize that I might have held so much things,
not only handful but bodyful of things there might be, I couldn't
hold all of these, so I've rather dragged most of these.
It must be too heavy for me.

I knew this from my youth. You're right.

But I wonder how I can do anything else.
I cannot have right answer for this circumstance up to now.

〉You are a wise, gentle man.

I don't know...(Grinning)

〉Your life is yours, Dora.
〉Do you really know it?

Probably...

〉I wish you love yourself more and enjoy your life.

Maybe... I don't know how I can love myself.

For example, I can write so long article in order to communicate
with you, with my passion or some kind of emotion.
But I can barely write for my own sake, like diaries, blogs, etc.

Ignoring appearing my shame with continuing this point of view,
there can be so much examples like this, so I can prove easily
that I can hardly do anything for myself.

But, you know, the reason why I wrote these damn stuff is not to
lead commiserate feelings to someone, including you.

Now the most afraid thing I have is.... I might be unable to
attend any of the OFF-Meeting for the extensive readers anyway.
Because I'm afraid that my words, my temper, my mood, my emotion,
any of my behavior or appearance might loose pleasureful mood of
the meeting and reduce good reader's joy.

I can never, ever forgive myself if this would happen.

〉I remember you said "I don't know about 'love', maybe...",
〉but now, too?

Maybe these my words includes some kind of humility, but I don't
know whether I do know what the love is or not.

But I strongly belive I know several aspects of true love, you know,
in my experience, but I cannot believe I deserve to say
"I know all about the love."
Because I hardly embody it recently.

〉I guess I've said too much. You told me of your situation.
〉I'm sorry if you got a bad feeling.
〉I just wanted to ease your pain.

I know. I know you do.
Thank you, Hamako, but please remember.
That would never happen !!
With my confident, I can say.

I'm not young enough to misunderstand any of your words whether
it would be led unconsciously or consciously.

But maybe, I wrote too much about inside myself.
Since I don't feel any of inside myself need to be hid.

If you feel these are not preferable, please just ignore these.

〉〉〉These all things are for me now again.

〉〉I'm truly grad as it happens for myself !!

〉Thank you, thank you, Dora.

I feel pleased again every time I read this part♪

〉〉〉And sure, definitely, you, Dora. (and you!)
〉〉〉Dora, there is no doubt. It's you.
〉〉〉You are one of a person who called me.
〉〉〉And I called a person and it was you.
〉〉〉Thank you, thank you Dora!

〉〉Thank you so much !!!
〉〉I can't express my feeling with any of my words !!!!

〉Then, Gyuuuu again and again.

Un-Un, Gyuuuu...
In this situation, the words are no use.

〉〉Exacly, you have been calling someone and I've found it out
〉〉accidentally. I wonder if there were some kind of fate.
〉〉And I'm truly pleased that now I know I could have responded
〉〉your calling !!

〉We are fatal person, aren't we?

Oooooh !!!!
How bloody your words are !!!
You mean we are going to destroy each other under the fate ?

This joke is now placed on the other side.
Actually, I've checked my dictionaries.

First of all, the word "fate" tends to be used in wrong side
of matters.
So I shouldn't have used the word "fate". We can use "destiny" instead.

Second the word "fatal" usually means some kind of crisis.
It means the worst side mostly.

But I think our relationship must be some kind of destiny.

〉〉You know, at first, there was a doubt in my mind whether I
〉〉would be able to keep contact with you in the way like that
〉〉we were continuously talking just frankly.
〉〉But I had relieved by knowing the fact that this was also
〉〉necessary thing for you.

〉Yes, yes, Dora.

〉〉And now I'm in full of content. And I feel like I'm being
〉〉cuddled by your enormous love.

〉You are my kid!
〉Here is your place and your blanket, come in.

How delighted I am !!
....I wish if I were your kid....

It's so comfortable on your lap and I can feel safe
and peace...Zzzz...

Ooops! I've snoozed...

After I awoke, we can start fighting for something with love,
passion and joy in our mind, like your usual life !!

〉〉〉Now, the time comes.
〉〉〉I move to the next stage.
〉〉〉I can progress more and more.

〉〉Okay.
〉〉From now on, I would be pleased if I could keep in touch with you
〉〉as same as up to now, if you can.

〉Thank you.

As I mentioned above, whenever you can.

〉〉P.S.
〉〉Saying honestly, I've read yesterday's version of your article.
〉〉Actually, yesterday morning I've saved your yesterday's text in
〉〉my PC in order to reply you as soon as possible.
〉〉Now I have no intent to offend you but I think yesterday's might
〉〉be better.

〉Oh, really?

Yes.

〉〉It's more belief and it seems to be able to be felt full of your
〉〉joy and your affection more directly.
〉〉Was it just something like right after finished writing, and/or
〉〉written at a dash from starting to ending ?

〉I did "Daaaaaa" writing as usual and posted it.
〉And it was what I wanted to say, without a plan.
〉But I remembered that emmie's comment.
〉Something like it's a little difficult to understand what I say.
〉So I thought it would be a good thing to add more explanations than "Daaaaaa" writing.

Fufufu..
I think I can imagine how you write in your "Daaaaaa" way.

〉〉It is often said in musical world that the first thing is right
〉〉thing, full of intuition or emotion or somethings.
〉〉So if anyone would like to make some minor modification into
〉〉a first thing, one must deeply consider because it usually
〉〉includes difficult problems.

〉Wow, that's a good word.
〉I will remember it.

Un-Un.

〉〉Perhaps, I might not have to say this kind of thing although I
〉〉would have realized the reason why you inserted supplemental
〉〉explanation was for me, especially.
〉〉It might also be unnecessary suggestion, maybe.
〉〉Just for your information.

〉Oo-oh, thank you, Dora.
〉You always give me a good advice!

I am so much relieved with your words.
Thanks.

Bye.